Loneliness
by ZANEradio
Summary: Naruto thinks back to his childhood from his elementary days to high school on one subject. Mention of Sasuke later. Christmas theme at the end


**LONELINESS**

Summary: Naruto thinks back to his childhood from his elementary days to high school on one subject.

P.S.- sorry for any misspelled words and my grammar. Enjoy.

**}~~~{**

You know thinking back at my life has put me in a not so jolly mood, I have done this repeatedly but I don't think it really hit me until now. In addition, the only question I keep trying to answer is why. Since elementary or as far as back as I can remotely recall, I have been lonely. In my kid years, I really never understood what this lonely feeling was and I never really question, just accept. Yes, I had friends like any elementary kid, sort of, but they would tend to forget me. Take for example my two best friends in the world, this is said in a very sarcastic way, the three of us would walk and play together during recess, but one day a sudden thought came to my head. What if I just stopped? Putting my question into motion on the day my two awesome friends and I decided to walk around is when, I stopped, and I mean just stopped walking. As I slowly slid behind the others, I noticed they did not bother to even knowledge I was gone, they didn't glancing over their shoulders as I thought they would. They didn't even stopped talking as I watch their small figures continue as if I wasn't even there to begin with. So I sat on the ground, slightly hoping they would notice me, but luckily, my hopes were never high because they didn't come back.

Sitting on the ground by myself, away from other kids, I let my mind wonder and question everything as much as possible. They where normal question: why is the sky blue, what is wind, why are ants small, but I'm big? Some questions I still wonder if kids should ask themselves this: Am I that unimportant, do I even matter, do I even exist? What if I died, who would care?

Even being at my house was the same issue, I lived with my mom and step father, but even though they where there they felt more like roommates. The kind where you know, no matter what yall do you wont really connect, than parents. I felt alone at my house, staying inside my room and maybe stare at the wall, taking in my cold, isolated environment.

School was always the same, I would sit alone under a tree, at the corner of the wall, no one coming to talk to me or asking me to play. Not even my so-called friends. For most of my recess days, I would wonder off with no one to stop me and or sit under the playground/jungle-gym. Like that one girl, I remember I sat with one day, I noticed her alone and a good person I am I went to go sit with her. There I wanted to know why she was all by herself, but I was never good with words however, I was willing to try and maybe get a friend out of it. I asked her the normal thing after saying hi, what is your name, why are you here alone. You know stuff like that. After a small conversation with the girl, I wanted to help her in some way, so I told her I would be right back and left to go find some of my friends. I told my friends about the lonely girl and that we should be her friend, they immediately agreed. The next day I went to the spot where I found the lonely girl but she was not there, looking around I saw her playing with my friends, smiling and laughing. Looking back at that spot where she once sat, I now have replaced with myself. Again, I was lonely and that girl was just the same as the others, she did not notice I was there, but what hurt me the most was that she didn't talk to me since I introduced her to my friends.

From pre-K to the fifth grade it was all the same, people have claimed to be my best friend but did not act like it, I felt lonely even with them there. Now onto middle school, I actually thought I would find at least one person who would be there for me as much as for them, but just like elementary, it was the fucking same. Even though I was part of a group, it was not enough. I would admit I felt like I belonged and glad, I became happy? However, there is no happy ending for me, in seventh grade, I was apart of something but during eighth it went down hill. Back to where I started. Middle school there was not much to remember, but I know I tried to make friends and I tried to keep them. Nothing worked, knowing this I focused on my schoolwork and discovering what I want to do with my life.

High school, third verse same as the first, but this time I was given the image of being emo and I-look-like-I-would-being-a-knife-to-school. A load of shit if you ask me, but go figure. Therefore, people had a reason not to talk to me, until I met him. Sasuke Uchiha. Freshman year didn't seem so bad now, I actually had a good friend. He was by my side through our happy and sad times. He is the only person who knows who I really am and the truth beyond the lonely part of my life. I was finally happy, he made me smile, and laugh and what made me grateful was knowing that he never left. How wrong I was, destiny had other plans or should I say Sasuke's mom, she wanted to move and Sasuke had to go with her. Sophomore year, I missed him dearly, I fell back into being in a group again, which really sucked. I felt left out most of the time I hung out with them, but as much as they were wrong to me, I was wrong to them back. This time I saw them more of a replacement for Sasuke and that was hard to accomplish, it took four people just to fill a small part of loneliness that Sasuke can easily fill. The only part that kept me going through out the year was keeping in touch with the best person in the world was Sasuke. Junior year was half-great, in the beginning because Sasuke came back! He missed me just as much I missed him, the only person who understood me and I understood him, was there in person. Not an instant message, not a private message or a text, but in his skin, organs and bones in all his glory and again someone separated us. Sasuke's mom wanted to be closer to work so they moved again and the only reason I survive was that I actually made a somewhat good friend that year but I never forgot about Sasuke.

It is my senior year in high school and I don't have Sasuke at my side and this year I do not have that connection I had last year, but I'm pulling through. I am kind of hoping the collage I choose will bring me a friend just as awesome as Sasuke, even though he might get jealous. I mean I get jealous when he talks about his new friends at his school, so why will he not feel the same. Ok, he has sound jealous before, so most likely he will again. Anyway being a senior, yeah it is the same lonely fucken shit as last year, how long will this continues I wonder. Enough of this! Here I am sitting on my couch on Christmas eve thinking about my past that stuck with me, but the thing is I know I'm lonely and I know I am not the only one, Sasuke proved that, so why cant the lonely find the lonely? I found Sasuke and became good friends with him, but where are the others?

Speaking of others, someone is at the door, on Christmas Eve. In the afternoon? Opening the door, I see Sasuke holding a red-rapped present! "Hey Naruto, long time no see."

"Sasuke! You got me a present, but I didn't get you anything."

"That's ok."

"No it's not, just wait here."

I cannot believe he would buy me a present and not tell me, that bastard! I have to get him something, oh I know, something I would not give up unless I trusted him.

"Here Sasuke, this is one of my first and favorite stuff animals, so don't loose it!"

"A fox, it's cute, it reminds me of you in a way. Thanks Naruto and here, for you. Open it."

"A necklace with your crest, Sasuke thanks, I love it."

"Your welcome, well later Naruto and Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too."

And that was it, one of the first time in months that I have seen him, he came to see me even though fate keeps pulling us apart, but I wonder how long will this last. My first good friendship I ever had, how long, how long will it be until my downfall? I don't know but I will cherish it and when it comes, I will deal with it then but now I do not care. I got what I wanted for Christmas, the feeling of happiness when seeing Sasuke again. Yes, it was all I wanted this year, was to see my best friend again.

**}~~~{**

**I thought about this and typed it in I think an hour and something, ah who cares? I know it sucks but I wanted to type it out since I have not done something with naruto in a long time. so I hope you enjoy it in some way anyway Merry Christmas and hope you get what you wanted this year. Happy Holidays! And for others, I hope you have a wonderful day! **


End file.
